You wouldn't really think that the appellation "human" would be much of a complement. But it can be. Ohh, it can be.
Today I came across someone I would describe as sub-human. Non-human would not be a proper term because there are many non-humans who embody some of the qualities of what it means to be human without actually being human. No, I am talking about someone who, at some point in their life, used to be fully human, who had a good chance at being the person they were meant to be, and instead they consciously gave up their humanity.
I have a lot of detail I could go into about what I think of this...individual. But I won't spend that much time. Suffice to say, today I learned that not *all* of my neighbors are nice. No. Kitty-corner to us is a real jackass. (Jessica, please supply the appropriate term. I think it would be more effective coming from a New Yorker.)
This afternoon, I heard a ruckus outside with Ajax barking up a storm. I went out to discover Shibe had slipped her tie out. She was across the street visiting the neighbor's two ugly dogs. In spite of the fact that she is slippery as hell when she doesn't wish to be caught (which is all the time when she is not on a leash), I went over to see if I could grab her. Now, there is pretty much no way I am going to accomplish this myself...it's near impossible to begin with, and being five months pregnant, well, you can imagine. (And when I am pregnant, I am pregnant. My movement is...quite restricted, believe me.) But, I went to see if I could get lucky. Maybe she'd be distracted enough by the other dogs that I could, in fact, get ahold of her.
I'd never met the jackass previously, and he came out when I was trying to get Shibe. Keep in mind, in case you need reminding, I am pregnant...even at five months, people mistake me for being almost full term, and I can't move much better than if I *was* full term. So there I am, trying to get my dog, and this jackass comes out and asks me over and over if I'm going to get my dog.
Um, why else would I be there?
I had already immediately apologized when he came out. But he keeps at it, asking me over and over, and...I am totally speechless. What? What exactly does he expect. My dog is a puppy, she is not big, she is extremely fast and agile and I am...really really pregnant.
Finally he switches noise and says, "It's your choice; you can either get your dog or I can call the Humane Society."
Yes. This is really how he treated an extremely pregnant woman obviously trying to accomplish something beyond her and clearly sorry for any inconvenience...
This isn't the worst situation I've ever been in by far, and there are many far worse outrages in the world. But...this clearly shows some true nature here. Imagine the humanity necessary for this, and then extend that to more serious matters and the state of the world becomes a little clearer.
I don't *want* to believe in the worst of human nature, but when confronted by someone like this, in a situation like this...I must fully acknowledge the fact that not all people should really even be considered people. They give up that right. I am flabbergasted. And outraged. Because such things deserve both reactions and more. I'm not particularly caring that this was directed towards *me*...I don't want sympathy or pity or whatever else...it's the entire idea of it. No one should be treated like that, least of all someone in my condition or similar. People can be rotten to one another all the time because of a mood, or because of a situation, or because of a shared history, or...whatever. But this, this is something else other than all those kinds of things.
I'm not good at confrontations and I'm not always good at speaking my mind, in part due to hesitancy but mostly in part because I don't think fast enough when faced with an unexpected situation. But there were many things that I could have said here and wanted to say. However, I immediately acknowledged that it would be entirely pointless to do so, other than to vent my own anger. And frankly, he didn't deserve any reaction from me whatsoever. Nothing I said would have penetrated his sheer nastiness; action would be...really tempting, to be honest, but I choose to refuse to allow a nasty piece of work to lead me to abase myself. I'm not going to give any influence to any sub-human like that. Allowing others to lead us down darker paths is giving them far too much. While there is a very human part of me that genuinely *wishes* to react, I find myself ultimately not caring to. (And grateful that I have been brought to this, because it would not have always been so.)
As I was pondering this, I felt this incredible wave of gratitude...towards God for putting me in the life that I have, surrounded by the people that I have in my life, and gratitude towards my parents and others for teaching me and leading me the right way. And I also felt so very glad that I have the opportunity to raise my own children right.
I had gone outside to check the dogs by myself; I hadn't even stopped to call anyone else for help. But shortly after this moment, Gavin came running out of his own volition to help me. He has had to catch Shibe many times, but often he does a lot of standing there while she runs by (not that I can entirely blame him), but this time I was so very proud of him; he did well in catching her, though I was even more proud of his initiative and willingness to jump in and help where he knew he was needed.
The world needs so many people like that.
I am very proud of all of my children; they are good people in spite of the various ways I mess up as a parent (as all parents mess up) and in spite of the fact that they are, well, kids, and they drive me nuts. They are, really, good kids and good people. I am so blessed to have them in my life.