Thursday, April 30, 2015


I let the kids chose some stuff at the art store the other day. One thing they got was a bag of sparkly spangly sequins.

As it so happens, this last weekend I found a bunch of little plastic containers at the army surplus store that I knew I needed even if I wasn't sure exactly why.

I am not an overly obsessive person...okay, well, maybe I am more so than some...but I do like to have things neat and organized.  Which doesn't really happen, but I go on pretending, anyway, because it is part of my sanity.  What little I have.  Attracted by the sparkly things and tiny containers, we started organizing the sequins. Really.  And, it's not just you who thinks that, well, that might be kind of a dumb idea.  Sometimes I do weird and kind of dumb things...but I do them anyway because...I just want to.

Anyway, this way I will probably find really cool uses for them that I would have avoided otherwise...there really are some cool shapes and things in the bag.  And the kids like to play with them, so they want to organize them, as well...not a bad activity for some moments.  Messy, but you know, when are kids not.  Not all messes are created equal.

Yeah, they are already getting all over the floor.  But they aren't stickers, so...whatever, really.  There are so many other messes that drive me much more nuts; somehow this hardly registers on the scale.  They at least make the dirty floor all sparkly.

I don't always understand myself.

But oh, here is a sequin garden I did the other day.

It's sideways...and I'm too lazy to fix that.

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

It's pretty good being human

You wouldn't really think that the appellation "human" would be much of a complement.  But it can be.  Ohh, it can be.

Today I came across someone I would describe as sub-human.  Non-human would not be a proper term because there are many non-humans who embody some of the qualities of what it means to be human without actually being human.  No, I am talking about someone who, at some point in their life, used to be fully human, who had a good chance at being the person they were meant to be, and instead they consciously gave up their humanity.

I have a lot of detail I could go into about what I think of this...individual.  But I won't spend that much time.  Suffice to say, today I learned that not *all* of my neighbors are nice.  No.  Kitty-corner to us is a real jackass.  (Jessica, please supply the appropriate term.  I think it would be more effective coming from a New Yorker.)

This afternoon, I heard a ruckus outside with Ajax barking up a storm.  I went out to discover Shibe had slipped her tie out.  She was across the street visiting the neighbor's two ugly dogs.  In spite of the fact that she is slippery as hell when she doesn't wish to be caught (which is all the time when she is not on a leash), I went over to see if I could grab her.  Now, there is pretty much no way I am going to accomplish this's near impossible to begin with, and being five months pregnant, well, you can imagine.  (And when I am pregnant, I am pregnant.  My movement is...quite restricted, believe me.)  But, I went to see if I could get lucky.  Maybe she'd be distracted enough by the other dogs that I could, in fact, get ahold of her.

I'd never met the jackass previously, and he came out when I was trying to get Shibe.  Keep in mind, in case you need reminding, I am pregnant...even at five months, people mistake me for being almost full term, and I can't move much better than if I *was* full term.  So there I am, trying to get my dog, and this jackass comes out and asks me over and over if I'm going to get my dog.

Um, why else would I be there?

I had already immediately apologized when he came out.  But he keeps at it, asking me over and over, and...I am totally speechless.  What?  What exactly does he expect.  My dog is a puppy, she is not big, she is extremely fast and agile and I am...really really pregnant.

Finally he switches noise and says, "It's your choice; you can either get your dog or I can call the Humane Society."


Yes.  This is really how he treated an extremely pregnant woman obviously trying to accomplish something beyond her and clearly sorry for any inconvenience...

This isn't the worst situation I've ever been in by far, and there are many far worse outrages in the world.  But...this clearly shows some true nature here.  Imagine the humanity necessary for this, and then extend that to more serious matters and the state of the world becomes a little clearer.

I don't *want* to believe in the worst of human nature, but when confronted by someone like this, in a situation like this...I must fully acknowledge the fact that not all people should really even be considered people.  They give up that right.  I am flabbergasted.  And outraged.  Because such things deserve both reactions and more.  I'm not particularly caring that this was directed towards *me*...I don't want sympathy or pity or whatever's the entire idea of it.  No one should be treated like that, least of all someone in my condition or similar.  People can be rotten to one another all the time because of a mood, or because of a situation, or because of a shared history, or...whatever.  But this, this is something else other than all those kinds of things.

I'm not good at confrontations and I'm not always good at speaking my mind, in part due to hesitancy but mostly in part because I don't think fast enough when faced with an unexpected situation.  But there were many things that I could have said here and wanted to say.  However, I immediately acknowledged that it would be entirely pointless to do so, other than to vent my own anger.  And frankly, he didn't deserve any reaction from me whatsoever.  Nothing I said would have penetrated his sheer nastiness; action would be...really tempting, to be honest, but I choose to refuse to allow a nasty piece of work to lead me to abase myself.  I'm not going to give any influence to any sub-human like that.  Allowing others to lead us down darker paths is giving them far too much.  While there is a very human part of me that genuinely *wishes* to react, I find myself ultimately not caring to.  (And grateful that I have been brought to this, because it would not have always been so.)

As I was pondering this, I felt this incredible wave of gratitude...towards God for putting me in the life that I have, surrounded by the people that I have in my life, and gratitude towards my parents and others for teaching me and leading me the right way.  And I also felt so very glad that I have the opportunity to raise my own children right.

I had gone outside to check the dogs by myself; I hadn't even stopped to call anyone else for help.  But shortly after this moment, Gavin came running out of his own volition to help me.  He has had to catch Shibe many times, but often he does a lot of standing there while she runs by (not that I can entirely blame him), but this time I was so very proud of him; he did well in catching her, though I was even more proud of his initiative and willingness to jump in and help where he knew he was needed.

The world needs so many people like that.

I am very proud of all of my children; they are good people in spite of the various ways I mess up as a parent (as all parents mess up) and in spite of the fact that they are, well, kids, and they drive me nuts.  They are, really, good kids and good people.  I am so blessed to have them in my life.

Monday, April 20, 2015

Scarlett's Flowers

Somehow, I actually managed to Do Something last night.

Scarlett, who is 4 1/2, had her first ballet this weekend.  She was a butterfly in Cinderella.  It was *adorable*.  She got some flowers from Daddy, and I thought it would be nice to preserve them by painting them for her.  I've got some good references to work from, but I had to start with the flowers in front of me...and they got dehydrated, so they are not going to last.  So, yay for painting last night!

I am doing them in oil pastel, and I wanted so much to mount my Colorfix paper on some foam core board, and I ultimately decided that I didn't have any...then I walked into my bedroom and discovered, I did!  So much lighter than having to use my drawing board.

I really was tempted to use oils...but that would have pushed my other project back (probably by months) and I just didn't want to do that.  I do *not* think it a good idea to start more than one oil right now.  And I don't think I had a canvas that was just perfectly sized, anyway.  And, it would have taken forever and probably would have just ended up like crap in the end.  I really was tempted, though.  But, op it is.

I didn't really choose this color of kind of chose me.  I could have used a light blue, which I'm sure would have been great for the comp...but somehow I just wasn't in the mood for that.

I even got farther on it last night than I figured I would.

Sunday, April 19, 2015


I shared this elsewhere, but it deserves multiple placement.

I am so excited that I can get a snowcone.  Right now.  It's not even May and I can get a snowcone.  This is so incredibly awesome.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Sorry, Vlad. It wasn't me, I promise.

I had this dream last night.

Vladimir Putin died.  And we were in Russia at the time.

Being American, we were afraid that we were going to be blamed, so we thought we'd probably better leave.  We had this huge van-type camper that had *two* trailers.  And of course I couldn't really drive it myself.  But Jared went off to do something--I've no idea what--and I couldn't remember if he told me that I had to go, or if he asked me to stay.  Not being able to drive the monstrosity, I stayed for a while, but it made me very nervous and I ultimately decided that I had better get going.  But I was somehow parked in this huge Greek-style amphitheater (um, yes, we did start a unit on ancient Greece this week...why do you ask?) and I could not get the damn thing turned around.  I could possibly continue forward, but that would have put me in this insanely busy rush hour highway traffic.

Things were a little disconnected, but I think I ended up abandoning the monstrosity and I went to hide out in a hospital and I hid in an occupied room (why yes, I did just watch the Fugitive on St. Patrick's Day...why do you ask?).  At first, the occupant of the room was asleep, but then she woke up and I had to pretend that I was there for a purpose.  Luckily, she was fairly oblivious, though she really liked to talk.  She was talking all the while I had to scrub these really really nastily dirty pants (you don't want to know how they got dirty...I'm a mother of young children, after all).  Clean pants were essential to our get-away, even though the dirt had nothing to do with Putin's death.  (It was definitely from my children...)  Unfortunately, though the woman in the room had a husband, she didn't have any of his pants with her, so we were out of luck in finding other clean pants.

I do think we managed to get away in the end, though the sight and smell of the pants I was scrubbing woke up me up too early to really tell....

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Easter eggs

These are super fun.

The Easter bunny gave us chalkboard eggs.

I may have, possibly, done more on them than my children.


There is a pressure, building up
Inside the rain that soaks us.
A tingle and a shiver indicate
An electrifying power.
Something grows
    and something stays
I have no power to impart,
But words there are
That resonate
And have themselves some power.


Tuesday, April 14, 2015

A Plea for Logic

On occasion, I like hearing about what people think.  I like hearing new ideas, new ways of thinking, new *arguments* and *reasoned thinking*.  Unlike many, it seems, I *like* to have my thinking and beliefs challenged.

The problem is, logic is not actually integral to human thought, and it is certainly not integral to people's ideas or opinions.  Everyone has a bias, everyone has an agenda, everyone has a background that predisposes them towards some ideas and against others, etc.  This is natural.  Some biases and agendas are actually connected to truth and morality and so I do not mean this in a negative way.  But, our biases ought to be grounded in something more than emotional thinking.  For most people, reason is something that needs to be taught.  Unless you are uncommonly blessed with insightful teachers who are suited to your own personality, this does not happen in school, and most people are not of the persuasion to teach themselves logic.

This is a real shame, because armed with logic and reason, one can craft interesting and insightful arguments, and one can learn where one's thinking needs correction (and believe me, we all need correction in this area).  If you have a bias or an agenda (which we all do, and I would suggest that we all have a responsibility to ensure that our agendas can stand up to reason and logical thinking!), you are even in a better position of persuasion if you can make reasoned arguments.  Some might think that it is better not to go out trying to persuade people to our way of thinking at all, but we can no more live life without trying to convince someone somewhere of something than we can go through life without breathing.  So, what is not to like about logic??

Here are a few definitions, because words can be used in different ways.


a (1) :  a science that deals with the principles and criteria of validity of inference and demonstration :  the science of the formal principles of reasoning (2) :  a branch or variety of logic logic
> logic> (3) :  a branch of semiotics; especially :  syntactics (4) :  the formal principles of a branch of knowledge
b (1) :  a particular mode of reasoning viewed as valid or faulty


a :  a statement offered in explanation or justification reason
s that were quite satisfactory>
b :  a rational ground or motive reason
to act soon>
c :  a sufficient ground of explanation or of logical defense; especially :  something (as a principle or law) that supports a conclusion or explains a fact reason
s behind her client's action>
d :  the thing that makes some fact intelligible :  cause reason
for earthquakes> reason why he wanted me to stay — Graham Greene>
a (1) :  the power of comprehending, inferring, or thinking especially in orderly rational ways :  intelligence (2) :  proper exercise of the mind


a :  a reason given in proof or rebuttal
b :  discourse intended to persuade
a :  the act or process of arguing :  argumentation
b :  a coherent series of statements leading from a premise to a conclusion
These are specific tasks of thinking which have rules attached.  I am specifically referring to the more technical definitions of the above words: logic as a science, reason as sufficient grounds of explanation for a logical defense, and argument as a coherent series of statements leading from premises to conclusion.

These are intellectual pursuits, and though many of us would not consider ourselves to be "intellectuals", we all engage in this type of thinking.  We just aren't all very well-equipped to do so.    (Many of us even believe we are succeeding admirably, when in reality we are failing miserably.)

Because we are burdened with limited insight and knowledge, not everything needs or even has a logical argument.  But reason and logic are extremely valuable tools that can be used in every endeavor to one extent or another.  (Not always specific cases, but they have a place in every general area of life.)  While it is inadvisable to use logic solely as a basis for most decisions or internal self-making, logic is so powerful that it deserves a high place on the shelf of tools we use to tackle the world around us.  The study of logic also brings us to a knowledge of fallacies which we may find ourselves committing unawares, without our conscious intent or realization.  Avoiding such things assists in our communications and clarity.

I occasionally like to read conversations and reactions to news articles and the like; even when I find someone whom I believe to be on the right side of an argument, it makes me cringe internally when they use poorly constructed arguments or fall into emotional fallacies.  They not only make themselves look bad, they make everyone else with the same opinion look bad (or worse, they encourage poor judgement and reason in said persons) and, I would dare say, they hinder the advancement of truth and knowledge and what I would even call right progress.  In other words, they do much more harm than they ever do good.  

I hate to see that happen to a good, solid argument.  It *frequently* does worse damage than whatever argument the opposing side brings up.  People are very good at tearing down their own side.

Learn to think logically, learn to construct a valid argument, and learn to spot the flaws in your own thinking.  I wish I could say that these things shouldn't be so hard, but even the most intelligent people need a good dose of training in logic.

Instruct yourself, because if you leave it up to other people, you don't know what you are getting.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

A change in seasons

I need to post something amusing today, so here is an ad I came across the other day when reading a magazine on my tablet.

I am glad that things have been going better for me lately in the realms of how I approach things...for the kids' school and for my house and my for my creativity.  Of course, the latter is still a bit early to tell the complete effectiveness, especially right now, but I'm seeing a more golden light.  A peace that replaces the frustration I was feeling before.  God has been preparing me for what this year is bringing me.  Kind of strange preparations for the circumstances, but ones that will no doubt help to bolster me up.

Every season of our lives brings unique challenges, and ways to grow.  Unfortunately, some of those ways really really really suck to get through (really)...but I know those times can be the best circumstances ever for us, personally--difficult and agonizing and hard (even impossible) to understand as they might be.

I am so grateful for what God has brought me to in the different seasons of my life, including the current and upcoming ones.  I am intensely grateful for my sorrow, as well, because there have been many circumstances in which it seemed even that could be stripped from me.  I'm so grateful that I am being restored, even though I have to go through so much struggle.

I love to read the devotionals of Oswald Chambers; his wisdom always astounds me.  Yesterday, this scripture from Romans 6 was the focus:

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his. For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be slaves to sin— because anyone who has died has been set free from sin.
Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. 10 The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God.
11 In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

And here in part is what Oswald Chambers had to say:

"The idea all through the apostle Paul's writings is that after the decision to be identified with Jesus in His death has been made, the resurrection of Jesus penetrates every bit of my human nature."

Every last bit. My entire heart, my loneliness, my agony, my struggles; he changes my hard heart that is continuously assaulted and that continuously gives in to hardening--he changes it to his soft heart which is able to feel and to rejoice and to understand, even in the worst circumstances of our lives.

"He takes charge of everything....I find the life of Jesus in me all the time." 

I often find myself concerned with what is in my heart, amongst other things wondering how to soften my heart.  I can't really do it.  But in realizing that those things are crucified with Jesus, I find that they don't matter; they only have the power that I previously gave to them...they can be cast aside because they are not a part of the life I live to God.  And then, I find myself free.

Thursday, April 9, 2015


This is the finished painting on my wall that I mentioned in my last post.

I might...erm, maybe...possibly...could oil paint. Sometime.

I'm really annoyed at this lack of motivation I have.  It's not even really a lack of motivation.  It's just a lack of motivation to sit down and do anything even for a few minutes.  I don't get it; these things never make *sense* of course, but sheesh.  I have...well, I won't count them all.  But *more than* a half a dozen distinct projects in progress which I honestly want to do.  Oh, well more than half a dozen.  And most of them don't require a lot of set up, or a lot of time invested for me to sit down and work on them a bit.  It *annoys* me greatly that I don't do it.

I think I have reasonable focus now, compared to what I have had in the last couple of years.  And you might think that maybe I have *too many* things going on, and that is probably at least a slight factor, but I don't believe it's at all the major one because I do have a priority list of the projects and it's not really a matter of wanting to do them alllll right this minute; just two or three are really calling for attention to begin with.

A couple of my projects are long-term (in that the individual project will take me weeks or months), but most of them (all the higher priority ones) are things that could be gotten done easily in a week or two at the most.  Or less.

I think that is one of the major issues, actually.  The fact that individual things could be done quickly.  Which is odd.  But I am odd, so it makes sense that my mental issues would be odd.

If I wanted to, I could complete something in a few days...and that is what concerns me about working on them, perhaps.  I would sit down, see the light at the end of the tunnel, and ignore other things til it is done.  Or else not entirely ignore other things, but be annoyed at other things for *so rudely* interrupting me.  And it would be done and then a small ridiculous part of me would be sad that it was finished, as well.

So maybe I should go back to an old standby and finally get out my oil paint.

Because I am sloooooow at oil paint.  I get v unhappy when I go fast, things never turns out well that way, and so I have to accept that I am slow at it.  When I paint, I *usually only do it for maybe an hour at a time*.  If that.  Really, more like a half an hour more often than not.  Actual brush-to-canvas time, I mean.  So, by having one over-reaching project that will take me months, but that will not have to take large chunks of time at one time, potentially that could get me moving and once I am actually *moving*, I guarantee that I will simultaneously pick up work in my other areas.  Having a Big Canvas to revolve everything else around is potentially likely to be very helpful to me.

What got me thinking about this idea was in looking at this painting, which is my favorite painting I have ever done and it took me *ages*.  And I love it and I enjoyed the process so very immensely even though it gave me some serious fits.  (And wow, I never even posted the finish on my blog!!  Wonder where that finished photo went...)  It made me so happy to work large and slowly and to see it come together like it did.

This is a weird enough idea that it could actually work.

It might not.  That is okay, too, because I'm already at that point and I've really nothing to lose by starting yet another thing, even if it just adds to my pile of things unfinished.

Anyway, I was going through references and, shockingly, I will not be working on a zebra nor even equestrians--uhm, yet.  (I reeeeally want to do a major involved terribly painstaking copy of a painting of the inside of the Spanishe Hofreitschule.)  All of the ideas I want to do first are...*gasp*...people!  But that becomes understandable even for me when you realize I've got such photogenic girls.  Though...I don't think I'm even going to work on those first.  (Though I've more and more references of them everyday that are just begging to be painted.  Many many of them, though, are asking for oil pastel, so they can be considered separate.  I have decided only one new oil project at a time, but I can always start an oil pastel portrait!  :D)

The first thing I intend to work on does have a figure, but most of it will be very abstract...not abstract abstract, but it is almost all rock and water and light.  It's an *amazing* reference that really does need to be done.  Figuring out the composition will be a trial, but it ought to be fun.  And all that glowy light!  Oh, what is in my head is amazing....

Okay, this was no doubt far more than anyone in their right mind would ever want to read, but I'm a little excited.  Quite excited, which bodes well.  Fingers crossed that it helps.

This post neeeeds an image, so here are some Kanji I was writing this morning.  :)

It's still morning.  I don't care what the clock says.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015


The black kitty loaf
Threatening to overflow
Lazy yet rising

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Cooperative Illumination

Scarlett was working in a notebook this morning and wanted me to draw on a page.  So we did some cooperative illumination together.  :)

Monday, April 6, 2015


I'm not Catholic, but I like to pray the breviary.  I don't do it as often as I'd like, but then I don't do anything as often as I'd like..

I like to pray it because it is beautiful, because I think it glorifies God so well, and most importantly because I strongly believe in the body of Christ and what God can do through us.  We need community; we need unity; we need each other and most of all, we need God.

This morning, in the breviary was a song we sang at church yesterday, and I love it.

Jesus Christ is ris’n today, Alleluia!
Our triumphant holy day, Alleluia!
Who did once upon the cross, Alleluia!
Suffer to redeem our loss. Alleluia!
Hymns of praise then let us sing, Alleluia!
Unto Christ, our heav’nly King, Alleluia!
Who endured the cross and grave, Alleluia!
Sinners to redeem and save. Alleluia!
But the pains which he endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation have procured; Alleluia!
Now he reigns above as King, Alleluia!
Where the angels ever sing. Alleluia!
Sing we to our God above, Alleluia!
Praise eternal as his love, Alleluia!
Praise him, all ye heav’nly host, Alleluia!
Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Alleluia!

(Interestingly, the Catholic version of the song had a slightly different last verse; this one is the Protestant version.)

Here is part of the Psalmody:

Ant. 1 The splendor of Christ risen from the dead has shone on the people redeemed by his blood, alleluia.

Psalm 63: 2-9 --
A soul thirsting for God

Whoever has left the darkness of sin yearns for God.

O God, you are my God, for you I long;
for you my soul is thirsting.
My body pines for you
like a dry, weary land without water.
So I gaze on you in the sanctuary
to see your strength and your glory.

For your love is better than life,
my lips will speak your praise.
So I will bless you all my life,
in your name I will lift up my hands.
My soul shall be filled as with a banquet,
my mouth shall prise you with joy.

On my bed I remember you.
On you I muse through the night
for you have been my help;
in the shadow of your wings I rejoice.
My soul clings to you;
your right hand holds me fast.

Psalm Prayer

Father, creator of unfailing light, give that same light to those who call to you.  May our lips praise you; our lives proclaim your goodness; our work give you honor, and our voices celebrate you forever.

Ant.  The splendor of Christ risen from the dead has shone on the people redeemed by his blood, alleluia.

Ant. 2 Our Redeemer has risen from the tomb; let us sing a hymn of praise to the Lord our God, alleluia.


Saturday, April 4, 2015

Rejoice and Be Glad!

We are in the middle of the Easter celebration.

Easter is a wonderful time.  I wish it had as much pomp and circumstance as does Christmas, but perhaps it is appropriate not to have as much commercialism.  The commercialism it does have is so hokey; no one takes it very seriously, anyway.  I even thought so as a child, but hey, I'll take the candy.  I don't mind candy.

Some people (I think mostly those who don't have strong beliefs in much any area) love pointing out Easter's pagan origins.  As if that has to take away from the celebration of Easter itself.  Some even maniacally point it out as if this somehow voids the claims of Easter and Christianity itself.

Ooookay, dude, settle down, I want to say.

Newsflash: a lot of what we celebrate in modern Christianity actually does not have direct origin to the earliest Christians.  This does not invalidate any of it.

No one today, not even the church, needs to feel guilty or put on some sad face for possible past persecutions of others.  We aren't "taking anything away" from anyone else.  We haven't stolen or anything.  We are celebrating the single greatest event in the history of the entire world.

Christ is risen!

Every bit of my life celebrates this fact.

“And they found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.”

  Luke 24:2-3

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Buddah Board and Why Change is Good but Hard

I love my Buddha Board.  It is perfect for my Kanji study...I just wish I could get ink and paper to have these crisp marks...I don't know if it is my brushes or if it is just me.

The Buddha Board is a neat contraption that allows you to "paint" in water.

The image does not last long.

I guess you are supposed to live in the moment or some such thing.

Sometimes it does make me sad that the image goes away.

So I am going to start recording them more often.

My creative focus is always changing, which is why I can't ever become Really Good at anything...not belittling whatever talent I have, but my mind does not want to focus on one thing in particular to develop my skills high enough to be Super Awesomely Good.

And that is okay.  It's all right to just be Good.  I believe there are reasons I have an eclectic focus. 

It does make it a little frustrating when I feel like I "ought" to be doing this or that, or when I think, "a while ago, that would have inspired me to do X, but right now...I just don't want to."  Those kind of thoughts threaten to make me feel a little down on myself.  I *want* to get this or that done, but motivation so often peters out before I get all that far.  I haven't oil painted in forever.  Sometimes I feel I want to...but I *don't* want to get the paint out just for the sake of getting the paint out.  If I get it out, I want to do my best, and sometimes I just know I am not actually capable of that amount of motivation, so that is why I don't get it out.  I guess the big thing is, it takes *time* and *energy* and *attention*.  I don't want to bother with it otherwise, but...that needs lots of motivation.

I spend a lot of time on kids (obviously) and a lot of mental exertion on learning Japanese (because for whatever obsessive reason, I love love love studying it, though I don't always do so efficiently).  Then you factor in house, errands, people, and normal relaxation needs, and that leaves...precious little else.  I have the time.  I have plenty of time no matter what else takes my time and I know it and I will not use that an excuse.  But I know myself well enough that once I get going on something, I *do not want to stop* and that is probably the biggest factor...the fact that official creative time does have to take a back seat, strictly by my own personal choice.  I have plenty of things that don't *have* to take a lot of time...but it's hard to want to do those things if I *don't* devote a large chunk of time, so it's a bit of a conundrum.  I hate being interrupted, so often I choose not to start doing anything at all.  That is a little sad and I need to figure out how *not* to do that.

What was I talking about again?  I don't know.  Something about how I need to reconcile the fact that I don't need to do all of the traditional things I tend to do, creatively, and that I can just do...whatever motivates me at the moment.

Sorry about the rambling today...

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


I made the mistake of smelling the flowers at the store.

Sometimes I really miss flowers and need to have them.

I have really been wanting to paint them, but that hasn't happened yet.  Maybe it will, maybe it won't.  Having flowers always makes me want to paint.

Ink Trees at the Park

More trees!